You Know This Already, But This is a Reminder.

There is a lighter, spritely spirit inside you. There is a mischievous rock ‘n’ roller inside you. You know this already but this is a reminder. There is a person inside you, whose voice you have stifled, who wants to skip and sing and holler and whoop it up. She dreams of you being as unencumbered as she is, of you casting off the burdens of your regrets, your shames, your insecurities, your punishment, your heartbreak, your ego -- and being empowered to ride the crests of the waves of adventure she draws to herself as surely as the moon plays the wave like a marionette. She is a free spirit, the one who embodied you from the moment you came kicking and screaming, both literally and figuratively BLUE -- into this world.

Yes, you came into this world blue. You struggled but made it. You at first were stubborn: resolute with your breath and needed to be held from the ankles upside down and smacked by a doctor to wake you up into this world -- as if you needed a jolt to be freed from your own stubbornness and shock at suddenly being in a cold, noisy, unpredictable place.

Your spirit was recognizable from the get-go. Your sense of humor, your twinkling eyes and the way they could, on the turn of a moment, become brooding or calculated and observant -- taking in all the details of the world around you. You were a seeker: inquisitive, quiet, but by equal terms boisterous when the quiet became too confining to sustain.

You were creative and questioning and didn’t worry about finding an answer that would make sense to anyone but yourself. You were quite happy to spend time alone but that never stopped you from chasing your sister and watching the light that seemed to spin off her like sparks, in awe and struggling to keep up. You naturally observed people, and gleaned strengths from them as you decided who you wanted to become.

You deserve to be here, now, just as you are. You don’t have to chase anyone to prove you’ve got the momentum and pacing of this life down pat.

Further, you do not have to match the beauty of what you see around you. The gorgeous day outside welcomes you and beckons you to join it no matter if your mood nor your looks nor your strengths on that particular day match up to it. You do not have to have on a pretty outfit and makeup on -- because life is not a first date. You are worthy just by being.

In fact, you are a part of all the beauty you see around you. The gorgeousness of this world is a party -- one which you will have to crash at some point soon, because the sooner you realize you are the only one who can send the invitation, the better off you will be. You will bang that door down and be the life of that party. And much to your misinformed surprise, people will turn as you walk in, and greet you. They’ll wonder why you’re late.

Stop not being bold enough to look life squarely in the eyes and claim your space in it. You deserve to be here. Nobody belongs here more than you. That person within you that scared you with her boldness and power and that you subdued long ago? She is coming back to howl into your ear and demand to be freed. Your ambitions and talents can’t remain under your radar anymore because they are ripe and they are bleeding through your veils and scrims and curtains and screens. They are coming whether they were invited or not and their presence is strong and entitled and honest.

That person you are always so hard on is seasoned and resilient. All these years of difficulty and experience and joy have not been wasted on her - they have been filed into that folder called the deep well of experience. That person you always want to be but think you are too weak or meek or inexperienced or fragile to be is already here -- your understudy -- waiting for the non-believing you to step aside so she can take her rightful place on the stage of now.

She has waited a long time and has been patient -- she has made it through a lot and becomes more authentic and less separated from you by the minute. Together you can do no wrong and have done no wrong.

She has always been there, off stage, feeding you your lines. She has the moves down and the inflections are pitch-perfect. She is a star. And when you are too worn down by all the excuses and insecurities and doubts playing on that looping soundtrack in your head, she will pull you aside and take over and she will dance -- while you are the spotlight that casts the light on her.